Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Case #4: Things fall apart

I was at the kitchen when I heard some frustration screams from the boys' room. I didn't rush straight away. Then I heard Aimar asking his brother, "why are you crying?". And my motherly instinct drove me rightaway to their room. 

Earlier, I left them doing their own stuff. Aimar wanted to play the computer games and Aidan felt like finishing his Lego heli. He has been building the Lego for the past two nights and was determined to complete it soonest possible. The Lego was a birthday gift to Aimar, but my husband told me he heard Aidan was persuading very hard for Aimar to let him build it. 

As I entered his room, I saw the pieces of Lego on the floor, everywhere and he was crying in front of the washbasin while splashing his face with water.

As he is growing up, seeing him crying is a rare view and that was one of the ocassion. And so I asked what went wrong.

"I was on step 28th of the 29 steps and it broke! The heli's blade broke!"

O, poor soul.. it is frustrating!



The stigma we live in
My husband was offshore when this happened. The easy way out for me would just tell him,"don't worry, it China made afterall and the 'original' Lego products. the quality not as good. Afterall, you've done quite well and it nearly finished. If it makes yoy better, we'll get a brand new one for you tomorrow!" 

It's just not fair to let him cry and feel sad when he has put all his efforts in the works. He doesn't deserve sadness.

Is it taboo?
I knew those 'comforting' words won't really help him, then and his future. But then, by comforting him such ways won't help in his growing up.

Dear Parents, 
It is heartbreaking to see your son, who has always been 'tuff' and macho in his ownself breaks down and cry. 
It is demotivating when you have put all your best efforts, and you were so near in reaching success, you just fail! All gone, in microseconds! What makes it worse is when the failure is caused by you yourself and none others.

But isn't that life is all about? You will not always be on top.


So, what did I do?
Though I wish I could just buy the new set for him so that he won't feel sad, I knew my husband won't agree to that solution.

1. Face the music..
When I saw him crying in the toilet, I requested Aimar to leave the room and hug my crying baby. In that comforting position, I asked him what went wrong. Listening to his answer, my respond was 'o that's horrible. I knew you have worked hard on it for the past two days and to ruin it at the second last stage was not anyone would want it to be.'

I didn't lie that reality bites. I let him cry.

2. Even broken heart can be mended..
I told Aidan, we could have a look on what had happened and what was broken. As we looked at the broken Lego, I told him to identify what can be mend. I asked him to thoroughly check if there's any way we repair the broken pieces and if need be, we could use the glues or tapes or any tools that he might think would work.

Their dad is always great in DIY and he got all the tools well-equipped. Now is the best reason for him to meddle with his dad's precious toolbox!

This would also helps in developing his innerself being innovative and resourceful.

3. There's not the one and only way out..
We knew that if plan A didn't go as we planned, there's another 25 letters to explore. I told him that. He didn't get it at first, but was positive when he was made understood.

Kids need to be told. Resilient! It's one of the required lifeskills.
 
4. Calming the tiger..
I took the opportunity to praise him on his determination that he managed to go through all the Lego building process from sorting, understanding the manual and followinf every single step. It was unlucky that it fails at the 2nd last step of the overall process, but I convinced him it would be easier the second time and after that. 

Practice do make it perfect. And he would surely learned from his previous mistakes.

5. 'So, what I fail again?'..
We believe that what is meant to be, meant to be and vice versa.

It's not the end of the world.
There's always lesson to learn (to be extra careful next time)
There's always a blessing (mama will sure persuade aboh to buy a brand new Lego for his birthday)
and we can conclude it is Made in China😁
A happy ending?
It was weekend's night and so I let him stay late to work things out. I wasn't expecting him to mend it right away and I told him I'd be around if he need to use any sharp objects.

An hour after that, he came to me with a smile. He rarely smiles nowadays, and that smiles on his lips was soothing.

Yeay, he did it!

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